Faceplant! Johnny Fairplay Style.

Saw this over on The Superficial. (which you should probably be checking out daily, on your own).

Apparently, this happened at the FOX Reality Really Awards, on Oct. 2, 2007. (Because Hollywood NEEDS another fucking awards show... except this one is where they get to act like assholes and scream and yell for "REALITY TV STARS".)

So, the setup for this clip is that Johnny Fairplay (a noted Survivor "star" who was infamous for playing the game like a grade-a jaghole from day 1 and for faking a grandmother's death to get a sympathy win on a physical challenge and for going on to have a "career" as a tv asshole and a wrestling promoter AKA wrestling leech), was being booed by the audience of other Reality Tv assholes, when Danny Bonaduce (former child star, noted drug abuser, occasional homeless person and two-time public divorcee...oh and radio talk show host) walked onto the stage to confront the obnoxious Fairplay.

Bonaduce has his say "they're booing because they hate you" and goes to walk away. Fairplay calls Bonaduce to stay and when Bonaduce turns to see what Fairplay is saying, Fairplay runs at Bonaduce, leaps up onto him, straddles him around the waist and begins to (as the police report says) "lightly hump" Bonaduce's chest.

Bonaduce, who isn't a small or physically weak man, does what any other rational person would do, when being humped by an obnoxious, attention-starved weasel, simply raises his arms, lifting Fairplay over his own head and dropping him on his own weasel face.

Fairplay's shoe comes off in the impact, he has the mic in hand and can't protect himself and lands smack on his stupid, weasel face, breaking a tooth, rearranging three others and possibly breaking a toe. Bonaduce shrugs at the audience, as if to say, "Well, what did he THINK was going to happen" and Fairplay, holding his bleeding mouth, drops the mic and walks offstage.

I bet you want to see the clip now, don't you?

Here's the Extended Cut (w/ is extended by Alexis Arquette, the transvestite host of the event.) That ought to give you a pretty good idea of the level of production that we're looking at here - the host is famous for hacking his/her wiener to bits.)



And here's the event from another camera angle. This pretty much captures the whole event straight on. (With an introduction from Jimmy Kimmel - who has not, as far as we know, hacked his wiener to bits.)



It's just like a fucking trainwreck isn't it?

Two people who take themselves way too seriously and are famous for doing dumb shit on tv try to "out-jackass" each other until a faceplant happens and someone loses a tooth. Only it happened at an awards show. In front of eight separate camera crews...

Look, I get that Reality TV is here to stay. Not Paying Writers makes it attractive to television execs alone. But can we consider THIS moment to be the zenith that heralds the forms plummet to earth?

What else do we need to see, after a nobody hurts another nobody at an awards show?!? An awards show that no one else would've watched, if this injury hadn't happened?

I've watched this thing nearly a dozen times now. The first time it was funny to me. (I watched that Survivor season and I REALLY fucking Hated Johnny Fairplay - a guy as misnomered as Fox News is.) I watch it over and over again and think, "Here's Danny, getting in his heckle. Here's Danny walking away and giving Johnny a friendly pat on the gut as he leaves. Here's Johnny trying to escalate the bit with a wrestling move that he hasn't practiced on a non-wrestler - who actually hates him. Here's the humping. And here's the dumping. Shoe comes off. Drop Mic. And Walk Away to go seek medical treatment and press charges. Cue the Transvestite Awards Show Host."

You can see this particular train wreck coming from a mile away. And you can see each step of it transpire, logically going from one bad decision to another and eventually to a smashed face. And like a trainwreck, you can't stop it from happening and you can't look away. When two barely-talented has beens collide in the night.

For a point of reference, here's an actual train wreck from 1913, caught on film. See if you can look away from THIS disaster, either?



(I should mention that nobody gets hurt in the 1913 video clip.)

Turning the Channel,
Mr.B